I’m not a fan of one-size-fits-all psychology. People are much more complicated critters than as depicted in the self-help literature. The stern, almost thug-like, cold, martinet of a father is a source of necessary and even comforting clarity one son; another son experiences this same father as neglectful, frightening, inhibiting, and destructive. The first son grows up supported, guided, strong, focused; the second grows up timid, constricted, deprived of his natural power which would have to be rediscovered, probably in therapy. So: “Spare the rod and spoil the child” or “Let your child find his way”? Answer: It depends on the kid and his experience of that father.
Having said all that, occasionally simple answers do fit all. Here’s one: