{"id":332,"date":"2019-01-07T17:46:23","date_gmt":"2019-01-07T17:46:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/?p=332"},"modified":"2019-01-07T17:47:51","modified_gmt":"2019-01-07T17:47:51","slug":"332-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/332-2\/","title":{"rendered":"being a parent – and don’t lie about it"},"content":{"rendered":"
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New York Times published this letter from me.\u00a0 As in my\u00a0book<\/a>, I find myself again writing to the theme of catch the lies – in this case identify your goals – and you calm or end the conflict, internal or between people.\u00a0 Read the letter below, it’s only a couple of paragraphs, and you’ll see.\u00a0 (You can also read the letter on the New York Times website here.<\/a>)<\/h3>\n
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Re\u00a0“Stress, Exhaustion and Guilt: Modern Parenting<\/a>” (The Upshot, front page, Dec.\u00a025):<\/p>\n

Listening to parents who helicopter and those who free-range, one can hear a key difference that is often missed, often denied by the parents: goals. Helicopter parents focus on their children\u2019s success in societal terms, on beating the Joneses; free-rangers want their children to be strong, self-determined, at peace, what we used to call self-actualized, even if later on they don\u2019t make a lot of money or win awards.<\/p>\n

Although these goals shouldn\u2019t be mutually exclusive they are often wildly so in the real world, as shown by the research your article mentions. How about a little balance, a little appreciation and carrying out of both goals \u2014 combined, of course, with attention to what suits the child, who, research shows, does come out of the womb with strengths, weaknesses, interests and proclivities.<\/p>\n

Bennett Pologe
\nNew York
\nThe writer is a clinical psychologist.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

New York Times published this letter from me.\u00a0 As in my\u00a0book, I find myself again writing to the theme of catch the lies – in this case identify your goals – and you calm or end the conflict, internal or … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=332"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":336,"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions\/336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aboutpsychotherapy.com\/aboutpsych-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}