I was recently asked to respond to the following three questions, as part of a guide for new patients seeking – or considering – psychotherapy.<\/p>\n
1) What should a patient look for in a therapist?<\/em><\/strong> Two of the three mistakes I\u2019d like to address in question 2 involve choosing a therapist so let\u2019s answer questions 1 and 2 at the same time. \u00a0The process of choosing a clinician is often derailed by two errors.\u00a0 First don’t go in thinking you know what’s wrong with you. \u00a0Perhaps one out of 10 patients who come to me claiming they have OCD actually has this disorder.\u00a0 The same applies to those who come to see me thinking they have a sexual problem, attention deficit, bipolar disorder.\u00a0 \u201cSchool phobia\u201d turns out to be separation anxiety; \u201cattention deficit\u201d in a child is revealed to be an interpersonal problem, something going on at home that may involve family conflict, maybe just bad diet; \u201cdepression\u201d may be rage, \u201canger problems\u201d may mask anxiety or reflect justifiable outrage.\u00a0 And so on. \u00a0(You can read much more about this at the main website<\/a> page on the pages “Why Go<\/a>“and “Why Go -II<\/a>“.)<\/p>\n Much better is to go in \u2013 or make that first telephone call \u2013 and talk about your symptoms.\u00a0 Report simply what happens to you, e.g. you get angry, obsessive, violent, indecisive, overly fearful, argumentative, phobic, preoccupied, sour.\u00a0 Ask your prospective therapist if he or she has dealt with those problems \u2013 not with this or that diagnosis\/disorder.\u00a0 Find a well-trained, experienced clinician and let him or her determine what is wrong with you.\u00a0 That’s one of the things you’re paying for.<\/p>\n Second, since you may not know what’s wrong, don’t assume you know what kind of treatment you need.\u00a0 In fact, research has repeatedly shown that the type of treatment in psychotherapy \u2013 the approach \u2013 is not what determines successful outcome.\u00a0 Success or failure of psychotherapy is determined by other variables, most important of which appears to be the experience of the therapist, and the quality of the relationship between therapist and patient.<\/p>\n That brings us to question #1, how to pick a therapist?\u00a0 Again, first find one with a broad range of experience; you can look at \u201cCredentials<\/a>\u201d in www.AboutPsychotherapy.com<\/a> to see what kind of therapists there are and what training each type has.\u00a0 Then in your telephone (or email) contact look for one who has dealt not with the diagnosis you think applies to you but rather with the symptoms<\/span> \u2013 i.e. behaviors, thoughts, and feelings \u2013 that lead you to seek treatment.\u00a0 Second and most important:\u00a0 Find one who says things that \u201cclick\u201d for you.\u00a0 Now of course that may not happen in the first session, but by the third or so you should be having some sense that the conversations are interesting, not repetitive, that you are heading into new territory.\u00a0 You should begin to feel that the therapist has a point of view you had not considered, that he or she asks questions and raises issues that are intriguing, even unsettling. \u00a0(The only exception here is if you are someone who is very experienced in treatment. \u00a0A therapist may take a little longer to surprise you if you’ve been at it for a long time and especially with many different clinicians.)<\/p>\n This brings us to the third error people commonly make in treatment:\u00a0 Leaving just when things become exciting and productive.\u00a0 This is also an answer to question #3 regarding myths of psychotherapy.\u00a0 Psychotherapy is not a massage.\u00a0 There is a place in treatment for support, reassurance, and encouragement, but if that’s all you receiving you probably won’t get anywhere. \u00a0An exception is working with children who may need almost exclusively warm fuzzies, at least for a while. \u00a0But even with them – and especially with adolescents – productive treatment will sometimes be uncomfortable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was recently asked to respond to the following three questions, as part of a guide for new patients seeking – or considering – psychotherapy. 1) What should a patient look for in a therapist? 2) What mistake do most … Continue reading
\n<\/em><\/strong>2) What mistake do most patients make with their therapist\/therapy (Do they quit too soon? Expect something other than what is offered in treatment? Etc.).<\/em><\/strong>
\n<\/em><\/strong>3) What is one myth in regards to therapy or treatment that you would like to bust?<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n